Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Another Boring Night..

It has been more than one month since my previous post.. Nothing interesting happened in my life as usuall.. Going to college.. Playing online games.. Eating.. Sleeping.. Etc.. Etc.. Etc..

The previous trip to Pantai Cherating was a waste of money.. The place we stayed.. Mercu Beach Resort.. Was no resort to start with.. Maybe I had my expectations up too much.. But for me.. The place is one of the worst resorts I have ever stayed in.. If Justin and Yi Kang weren't there.. I would most probably sleep in my room till the day we came back to KL.. Well nothing much worth saying.. It's already over..

Had been having assignments to finish up for the last few weeks.. Last minute work as usuall.. As for the grouping.. Well.. Everything as expected.. Same old.. Same old.. To think I would have learned to plan my work earlier and in a more proper manner.. Guess old habits just don't fade away.. Had to leave everything until the last few days and then rush everyone for their work.. Not like I can expect much from them anyway..

As for missing out on blogging.. It's not like I've been busy 24 hours a day doing my assignment.. More to playing online games 24 hours a day.. Or watching animes.. Queer As Folk perhaps? Might be I've lost my muse again.. It seems to keep running away these days.. Might be I'm losing my attractiveness that is why my muse keeps disappearing.. Most probably off to see another good looking guy..

Something is not right with me.. I feel like I've changed into someone that I can't even recognize.. Someone who doesn't even know what he wants.. Self confidence is always a problem for me... For I seem to have lost it somewhere during secondary school.. Never fully regained all the parts.. Sometimes it comes back by itself.. And sometimes it just disappears into the thin air..

"Is there such thing as eternal love in a PLU's life? Would someone endure the feeling of loneliness while waiting for his other half to come back? Is time an important factor in a relationship? There are so many questions in my mind and yet I can find no answers to them.."

I took that from a part of a post of mine which was deleted due to a person's request.. It seems those questions were never answered and it will keep bothering me once awhile when my mood seems to be down.. In the first place.. What is love? Does anyone really understand what is the true meaning of love? Or what it takes to love someone and to be loved by someone?

Sigh.. Why is it that I always feel so down in the middle of the night.. Is it due to the coming final exams in 2 weeks time? I should be revising my notes by now but as usuall.. I've been playing games and watching animes the whole time.. Felt like I'm someone with no social life and the only friend I have is my 2 year old laptop.. Sad huh? I wonder what happened to the me that was used to going out meeting new people and knowing more friends.. Maybe past experiences with some drama queens affected this? Might be.. Might not be.. Guess I will never know..