Thursday, June 28, 2007


I am practically broke.. Pennyless.. And still in need of money.. Never have I felt so dried up before.. All this while.. Monetary issue.. Is not an issue to me.. I don't spend much.. I hardly go shopping.. Hardly go to the movies.. Hardly ever buy anything.. Except for food.. I like to eat.. I enjoy good food.. Thus most of my money are spent on places like Sushi King, Itallianies and so on.. Even so.. I would still have money in my bank and wallet after eating at such places..

But now it's a different story.. I can't even step a foot in those places without having someone to treat me as I can't afford it myself.. Where did all my money go? Some place which I regret spending.. Some place which practically sucked all my money dry and left me helpless.. And now I even need to rush those who owes me money to pay me back.. Even after they pay me back.. I still don't have enough.. Sigh.. Never felt so helpless before..

Robb was telling me not to think so much about this situation.. Instead.. Act on it.. I know.. It's no use being moody and whiny when things like this happen.. But for a person like me.. I have never worked before! It's not easy taking the 1st step out to work.. Even part-time.. You might say "Aiyah.. Work only.. What's the big deal? Scared of what?" Don't ask me that.. I don't have the answer.. I can never make myself to find a job all this while.. Maybe I'm a coward.. Maybe I'm just a spoilt brat.. But this spoilt brat was never in desperate need of money such as now..

I'm a big baby..

Robb's recent earnings were able to help me out in some way but I don't want to use so much money of his.. It just doesn't feel right.. Especially when it involves one big sum in one shot.. I'm not going to ask my parents as well.. They've spent too much money on me.. What am I to do.. I hate this feeling.. Why can't I just decide on going to work and stick with it.. Zzz.. I can never make a firm decision and stick with it.. Always lost and confused.. Why do I think so much.. =.="


Friday, June 22, 2007

What Will Be.. Will Be..

When I was just a little boy..
I asked my mother..
What will I be..
Will I be handsome..
Will I be rich..
That's what she said to me..
Hey Ming Ming..
Ming Ming..
Whatever will be..
Will be..
The future's not ours to see..
Hey Ming Ming..
Ming Ming..
What will be..
Will be..


Friday, June 15, 2007

Hard Times..

No.. Not the "hard" that you are thinking of in the dirty little brain of yours.. But difficult times.. Alot has happened since my previous post..

I went to Genting Highlands with Robb and few of my friends before my 4th semester started.. Came back to KL.. Results came out and few of my friends were required to repeat the subjects they failed and won't be able to proceed to 4th sem.. A misunderstanding between me and one of my close friend.. Changing servers to play in Maple Story... Another close friend of mine broke up his relationship of 4 years which I had looked up to.. And now.. Robb is down with dengue..

Sigh.. Robb was supposed to be discharged today.. But due to the low platelet count in his blood yesterday he had to stay for few more days.. I missed him so much.. Everday I go to the hospital and see him.. I feel so helpless seeing him bored to death as he has nothing to do there but sleep.. There is no TV there for the patience.. He can't read much on magazines or newspapers as it would make him feel dizzy.. He has practically nothing to do.. If I could afford it I would just go and get one PSP for him to play.. At least he won't be so bored..

Talking bout my friend who broke up.. It was him who suggested that and now his bf.. Or should I say ex bf.. Is devastated.. 4 years.. Can you imagine having someone to love for so long and in one blink everything changed? I couldn't imagine having to live without Robb even though we are just together for more than a year.. Maybe my friend felt that his relationship was more to the feeling of responsibility rather than love after having being together for so long.. Would it happen to my relationship as well?

Sometimes I wonder myself.. How could people like us stay with 1 person for so long.. It is typical for someone like us.. Especially when we are below 30.. To be wild and always eyeing at good looking guys.. Thinking of how nice it would be to have them on bed.. Admiring those with superb bodies.. Maybe this is why a lot of people are disgusted at gays.. For practically having mental sex with any good looking guy he sees.. And for changing boyfriends every few weeks.. Just like shopping..

So how does one keep the flame from burning out? I myself can't answer that alone as in my relationship.. Both of us are trying our best to love each other more each day.. It takes two to survive in a relationship.. Cuz if it was only one sided.. The boat would be unbalanced and it would sink.. Sigh..

Well.. I better be off for breakfast.. Wouldn't want to fall sick now especially when he needs me the most.. I miss you dear.. Get well soon..