Friday, September 09, 2005

Exam Season.. Sigh..

Today is the first day of the exam week.. Some of my housemates are having their papers today.. I can sense their stress throughout the entire week.. As for me.. I am as relaxed as usuall.. Pretending as though nothing has happened.. As though I have no exams.. No worries.. No nothing.. But the truth is.. I have two papers to sit for~!! And those two papers are not easy.. But till now I haven't revised a single thing at all~!! I seemed to have lost interest in my course.. To make it even worse.. I don't know what course that interests me.. Maybe a little curious to find out more about Hotel Management.. But then.. What if I end up not liking it again? I will be wasting my parents money and wasting their hopes on me.. What should I do?

I feel so lost these days.. And what happened recently(got dumped..) made me even more lost.. I still miss him a lot.. Looking through his messages in my handphone.. Playing with the chain he gave me.. The dried rose.. The book.. Thinking about all those times we spent together.. But all those are nothing but memories.. A chapter in my life that started well and ended in sadness.. Felt like a wandering ghost floating around with no reason.. No purpose.. I wonder how is he now.. Sigh..

There seemed to be a lot of break ups in this month of September.. My friend told me two of his friends broke up.. Even my housemate broke up with her boyfriend.. Their relationship had already survived for four years but still ended up like this.. Is love such a hard thing to maintain? Sigh.. After all these happenings.. I wonder if I will ever dare love again.. It scares me to think that anything possible could happen in a relationship.. I don't wanna go through this pain any more.. My friend told me not to think so much about the pain and try to think of those happy times I had when he was with me.. But how could I? Even if I could.. My mind would eventually drift to the night when he told me that we were not meant to be.. Hm..

Seems that I've drifted off my main topic here.. But who cares.. This is my blog.. My world.. My only place to hide.. My dreamland.. (>.<)"

Zach a.k.a. Garfield


εγrιquε said...

Moving on
by Joshi-kun

I wake up today to see you’re gone,
I guess I knew all along,
That you were leaving in a few more days,
I knew that you didn’t want to stay.

As much as I held you back,
I resistance you react,
I wasn’t ready to be alone,
I wasn’t ready to stand on my own.

Now I’m just waiting for your coming,
But I’m not even sure if it exists,
Staying right where you left waiting,
I’m not even sure why I persist.

Sitting here rotting as time goes by,
Maybe I should be doing more,
Spread my wings and fly,
And take to skies once more to soar.

Live Life Full said...

Really really sorry to hear about your break-up.. Been through that a number of times, and each time hurts more than the last.. if you'd like a sympathetic ear, someone who can give you a different perspective and perhaps take your mind off things, get in touch with me - I'm alpha_swimmr on fridae, in case you want to know a little more about me.. Take care.