Wednesday, March 15, 2006


Hm.. Just checked my results on the internet.. And guess what? I failed all my subjects! Except for english of course.. Well.. I should have expected this long time ago.. Why frown over it? People ask me to work harder.. Study harder.. Prepare earlier.. Etc.. But do they even know how I felt over it? If only they could be in my shoes.. They would know how confused I am right know.. I don't even know what I'm doing these days..

Besides spending time with my boyfriend.. I'm just wasting my time in KL doing nothing but eat, sleep and go to the cyber cafe to online.. Well.. Now that my results are out.. Should I study as much as I can to resit for those 4 papers in 1 month's time? Or should I just let go and start finding a job.. Or figuring out what the hell my life is all about? (Like that would happen).. I think I can say that I've wasted all my time.. Since after Form5 till now.. Been lost since then.. I don't work.. I don't study.. What the hell am I doing? Nothing.. And what do I do to change that situation of mine? Nothing.. Why is that? I don't know! Then why not do something about it? Try making me.. Even I can't move my own body.. Confused? So am I..

Maybe someone should just hypnotise me and make me a better person.. Might work.. Who knows? =P When will I wake from from this never ending dream of mine! Argh!! Few more days till my birthday.. A 21 year old man.. No longer a boy.. Yet still act like a child.. Ignoring responsibilities.. Ignoring life.. Just enjoying whatever that is given to him at that very moment.. Hm.. Nothing good comes out whenever I start to write.. And times like this makes me feel so out of place from the real world.. Living in fantasy land where everything is perfect and nice.. Can't even think of a person to have breakfast with me.. How lame..

I thought back about that thing that I might like to do in life.. I think I've mentioned it before.. Last year perhaps.. Travel around.. Visiting new places.. How about that for a job? So I went looking around Singapore Airlines website.. Hoping there might be something there for me.. Maybe join the cabin crew? Too bad.. The site's empty.. Even if they were looking for new crews there.. Am I ready to take this chance? I have no idea.. I keeping thinking and thinking and thinking.. But never did anything.. No wonder I feel like this all the time.. All thoughts and no action.. Brain filled with thoughts and nothing done to release the pressure out of it..

Someone told me I am a smart guy.. Am I? If I'm so smart why can't I do more for myself in this pityful life of mine.. =D Food for thought..

Ahh.. Enough.. Don't wanna write anymore for now.. One thing for sure.. I have a very loving boyfriend who supports me in whatever I do.. Hopefully I can be a better person for him.. ^^ Adioz..

Zach a.k.a. Garfield

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