Tuesday, October 25, 2005

Thinking.. Thinking..

Hm.. How to continue from the previous post.. For the happenings in Penang I guess I won't be writting much.. You guys can just view it from one of my friend's posts.. Refer to Fansu in my list of blogs beside this website.. Something special happened though.. Something Fansu didn't mention in his blog.. And I think it's time to spill it all out here.. During one of those days in Penang.. Yaoi came to visit me.. And a relationship started.. A bond that brought us together.. Details about how and when it happened won't be mentioned.. I didn't write all this down before as I was still unable to let go of someone.. But I realised that I should appreciate someone who is right in front of me and cares for me a lot rather than hanging on to someone who is half the globe away and not having much free time even to chat.. I know I should wait but it's just too hard.. He has no time for me.. But Yaoi has always been there for me.. It's not hard to decide who is really right for me.. ^^

After returning from Penang.. There were more things to settle.. The most important one is to find a place to stay as my current landlord already sold the house.. And gave us a very short period to find another place and move out.. The dateline was on 9th of November.. No extention of date given.. So all 7 of us hurried and tried our best to look for another new unit so that all of us can move in together again.. But luck was not on our side.. It's hard to find a nice place like the unit I'm staying in now.. Especially during this season.. So as day passes by.. 2 of my housemates found themselves a small room to rent which leaves 5 of us to continue searching.. Now we're lack of 2 people and so I asked 2 of my friends to come join me there and they agreed.. After days of looking at rooms and houses.. We found one unit which quite satisfy our needs.. Discussed with the landlord as if we were really into it and even got him to agree to some of our terms..

I thought everything was fine.. Until suddenly they (my remaining housemates) decided they do not want to rent that unit and preferred to take the 2 medium rooms which we saw before.. And that leaves me homeless.. Only me.. I had to find a masteroom too as I've already promised my friends that I'd include them along before this.. But now.. I have to search for this room of mine when my so called friendly housemates have their secured rooms with a nice landlord.. How sweet of them to leave me like this.. They promised to find me a place.. But only one girl tried.. The others just sat around shaking their legs and waiting for the time to move in their lovely little rooms while I have to worry about not having a room for me and my 2 other friend.. Life is so cruel.. I suddenly feel so much hatred towards them.. After all.. It's not like I'm the blacksheep of the current house.. I did my share of work.. Did extra when others aren't doing their jobs.. But no one appreciates it.. I can clean up their mess most of the times but they can't even clean up the mess I made in the kitchen sink I made once.. How "nice" of them.. I finally see how cruel humans can be when times are desperate.. They only think for themselves.. I should just do that too and don't care about my other 2 friends but I cannot overcome myself if I ever break that promise..

Fine.. Enough with them.. I went to look for my room after that.. Found some but it was either too pricy or not suitable.. Got kinda worried as I need to move out soon.. If I cannot find a place fast I won't have anywhere to stay.. After looking around.. I found myself a room.. Well 2 rooms actually.. In the same unit.. I can take either one and the price is reasonable.. Felt relieved as I quite liked the place.. I quickly asked my friends for their opinion and ended up agreeing to rent the place as there were others who wanted the rooms too.. I thought everything was settled and I can rest peacefully.. But I was wrong.. I still can't sleep.. Wide awake.. Thinking.. So many questions flooding my mind.. So much worries.. But I have very few choices left.. This was the safest way.. There's nothing much I can do about it now..

During all those happenings.. One special person supported me in everyway he can.. You guys should know who.. =P Well.. He talked to me and calmed me down.. Promising that everything will turn out fine.. Giving me emotional support.. Loving me.. Hehe.. Although he's not here but everything he did for me was something that I cannot forget.. His support got me through this hardship without much sorrow.. I'm lucky to have him.. Very very lucky.. Not forgetting my other friends who talked to me and calmed me down too.. Especially Ben Ben.. My new found friend.. Hehe.. Thanks guys!! Life has its ups and downs.. Just see how you face it and make the best out of it.. Hopefully everything will really be fine for me after this sad period.. Wish me luck guys!

P.S. Sorry Yaoi.. I say wan to sleep earlier but didn't.. I really can't sleep.. Too much on my mind.. =X Must write part of it down before I forgot how to write again.. =X

Zach a.k.a. Garfield

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