Monday, November 28, 2005

Forehead With The Letter "L"..

After spending half my day playing the computer, less than an hour doing part of my assignment, and the whole night out in Bukit Bintang watching Harry Potter.. I came back with a blue mood.. I have no idea what triggered this sudden change of feeling but its been a long time since I've felt this way..

I feel so lost.. Again.. No idea what I am doing with my life.. No aims.. No goals.. Just wasting my time chatting online and playing online games.. I have assignments to settle.. Tutorials to finish.. But never really did them.. Tried to do my assignment but my so called effort usually ends in less than an hour.. I just can't make myself to finish all those work that I'm supposed to do.. Laziness got over me.. Maybe I just have no interest in it.. I dunno.. Don't even know what I want.. Such a loser..

Looking at people pursuing their goals.. Walking down the path that they wanted.. Fighting for their future.. Makes me feel helpless.. I'm just wasting my parents money by paying for my college bills in a course that I don't seem to be doing much.. I should just draw a letter "L" on my forehead.. Or maybe it's already there.. What's wrong with me? I wasn't like this before.. Being this lazy isn't who I was! Matt asked me to explore myself.. Get to know myself.. What I like.. What I'm good at.. But there's nothing but an empty space.. A dark entity.. Vacuum.. Sigh..

I can never decide.. This attitude of mine will ruin me soon.. Maybe it already has.. I don't know what I really want.. I don't know what I really like.. Hm.. What will happen to me in the future..

Zach a.k.a. Garfield

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