The Good Old Days..

I have been looking through some old pictures of mine during my college years in Penang.. It has been quite some time since I felt so out of touch with my own history.. Everyone in the pictures are now so far apart from me.. Far in distance as well as the heart.. I hardly keep in touch with any of them now.. But it seems that it's not only me who is drifting away.. I guess it just happens to everyone at one point of our lives.. Made me realise that it is of no use to ponder on the past when time is always moving forward.. Even so.. As a human being we're always having problems of letting go those memories that are best forgotten.. Some of us will use it to our best advantage.. Learning from the experience that had been brought upon us.. Meanwhile.. Others tend to dwell on those memories.. Letting it control them instead of making good use of it..

Which one do I belong to then? I find myself hanging in the middle as usuall.. Never really sure of where I belong.. I have always been drifting from one place to another.. Never really left any markings on people's heart.. Never really belonged to a group of friends.. Never really achieved any goals as there were none to start with.. You can say I always go with the flow.. Some people might say it is a good thing to be able to adapt to different surroundings as I was never really rooted to one place.. But it is the sense of belongness that actually makes a person feel alive.. Feel appreciated.. Feel wanted.. Isn't it?

It has been awhile since I've managed to blurt out such thoughts of mine.. Looking through my 1st few posts when I started this blog made me realize the changes in me.. It seems that I can no longer write like I used to.. Or use words that I could hardly think of now.. What happened to my vocab? Is it the lack of writing and reading that made me this way? Or is it the company that I hang out with for the last 2 years.. I'm not sure.. All I know is that my level of vocab and the way I speak or write are no longer as good as it used to be.. Not that I'm very good at it to start with but still.. It has deteriorated..

The only good thing that has happened to me was having Robb as my companion.. The rest.. Well.. I've gained weight.. I've become much lazier than I used to be.. I've had some hair problems.. Secret.. XD Not consistant in any language although I can speak English, Mandarin, Cantonese, Malay, Hokkien and a little of Japanese.. Ah.. Can't think of any more now but rest assured there are lots more flaws in me.. One could say that I should do something about it instead of complaining.. Well.. Were you even reading? Have you ever seen any lazy assholes move their feet or shall I say butt to get something? I don't think so.. Maybe once in a blue moon.. It is like some sort of a virus in me.. Nothing can be done unless my brain installs some anti-virus software and get rid of it.. Till then.. We shall see..

As I have said.. Robb is the best thing that has ever happened to me in my life.. Having him gone for 3 days is bad enough.. Having my housemates (the only people I mix with nowadays) gone as well is terrible! The monster that resides beneath the darkness inside me slowly awakens.. Everyone has that monster in them.. It is called "Loneliness".. It kept me awake till 4.00 or 5.00a.m. last night and made me feel kinda moody.. Will have to wait till tomorrow when Robb comes home and brightens up my life again.. And now.. Back to my songs.. Chaoz..

~§hö©kWävê~

Lonely..

I miss hugging you while you are sitting on that chair doing your work..


I miss your hugs when we are watching tv on that couch..


I miss cooking dinner for you..


I miss sleeping beside you and feeling the warmth of your body..


I miss you terribly..

~§hö©kWävê~

Home Cooked Food..

I have been cooking dinner occasionally ever since I moved to this place that I'm staying now.. I like the feeling of being able to cook for people that I care for.. XD Though I am not able to make a variety of dishes.. I can still cook up some simple dishes to satisfy my housemate's hunger.. Hopefully I can learn up more recipies instead of cooking the same thing over and over again.. XD Enjoy~!!








~§hö©kWävê~

Friends..

One of the best sitcoms.. Agree?

No.. This post is not gonna be about the series Friends.. It will be about how I feel about friends.. The word "friend" might mean alot to others.. It might also mean alot to me before.. But not now.. After going through so many events.. I might have to agree with Robb.. That friends are nothing but people who use each other to achieve a certain objective.. If you are considered a friend to someone.. It means that you have value of usage to that someone..

A lot of people might disagree.. They would say "Come on.. It can't be that bad.. There are some people who treat their friends with a sincere heart.." Maybe.. But 9 out of 10 of our so called "friends" are using us to satisfy their own needs.. And so are we..

Think about it.. We only think of our friends when we need something from them.. Like when we are bored and need someone to hang out with.. Or when we need someone to share our sadness or happiness.. Who do we look for? Our friends.. When we have no desire for anything.. Do we look for our friends and just stare at the empty wall? I don't think so..

So when our friends do not look for us it just means that we have no value to them at that moment.. And when they do look for us.. It means that we have something that they want from us.. It does sound a little too cruel to define friends as such people but if you think clearly.. It is true.. And why do I write about it? To remind myself and others who are reading this blog of mine not to place too much affection or hope on your "friends" as it will only hurt you.. To remind myself not to hang out with people who has no value to me and waste my time with them who do not appreciate what they can gain from me.. They might want something from me in the near future but it is up to me whether or not I would agree to this "transaction"..

There is a reason why I feel this way all of a sudden but I won't be writing about it.. I will only say that it had something to do with my birthday.. I had found out who still needs my help in the near future.. And who has absolutely no value to me.. Through this I shall filter my list of "friends" and help out whoever that has value to me and ignore those that has no value to me.. :)



So people.. Wake up!!

~§hö©kWävê~

My Only Birthday Present..

~§hö©kWävê~

Inferno..

Just had a wonderful party last night at Jkeeku's house.. It was his 21st birthday~!! (Well not exactly as his real birthday is on the 29th March 2007) Will talk more bout it as soon as I'm at home..

Now I'm stuck at SS15's Inferno waiting for a friend of mine while Robb is at a nearby shop playing Magic The Gathering.. Hopefully he can win the tournament as the 1st prize winner gets an amount of money which I will not disclose here.. Why? Cuz if everyone knows how much he is getting and if he wins.. You guys might ask him for a treat!! Bleh.. Not letting you exploit him.. Kekeke..

The guy I'm meeting later is kinda good looking.. Haven't met him before though.. Just evaluate from his pictures.. One thing I like is that he speaks English as well~!! Well.. I guess I'm off to play Maple Story again while waiting for him.. Kinda empty in this cyber cafe.. Or maybe it's too early.. XD Anyway.. Chaozz..

~§hö©kWävê~

Rainy Day..

Rain drops are falling on my head..

Been raining on and off these few days.. Especially during the evening.. Love the cold weather.. ^^

I woke up around 7.00a.m. today with the "Ohayo~!!" alarm from my handphone.. The alarm never failed to wake me up so far.. Unless I had less than 2 hours of sleep.. XD So I got up and slowly walked to the bathroom and had a nice warm bath.. After finished getting ready for class.. I went in Justin's room as usuall.. Woke him up and waited for everyone else to get ready.. Lazy bums.. Well.. This is my everyday college routine.. XD

Rushed down to the bus stop as we were a little late.. Tried to stop the taxi but they were all taken by others.. Luckily the bus came not long after.. Reached the lecture hall around 9.15a.m.~!! We thought the lecturer would have started the class already but to our surprise.. She wasn't even there~!! So the whole lot of us waited for another 15 minutes or so.. Our course rep then told us that the lecture and the tutorial classes later were all cancelled~!! Zzz..

If she were to tell us a day before then everyone would be glad.. Imagine waking up so early in the morning just to go to the lecture hall and find it cancelled.. So pissed~!! I could have slept till after lunch.. Sigh.. It even started to drizzle when we were walking to the bus stop from college..

Not a very productive day.. XD Spent my whole afternoon at the cyber cafe playing Maple Story.. Did the party quest with 3 other players from Singapore.. Was fun though.. ^^ The rain came and went as usuall.. Even drizzled when we were having dinner outside.. Well.. At least the weather is cold.. And nice to sleep.. Hehe..

Hopefully the lecturer won't cancel tomorrow's class again like how she did today.. Would be good to be informed earlier.. XD

~§hö©kWävê~

22 Years YOUNG~!!!

One of my favourite cheese cakes~!!

As of today.. 20th March 2007.. I'm officially OLD~!! Haih.. No longer can I twist and turn my age to become young.. When I was 21 I could just turn those numbers around and make myself 12~!! Kekeke.. Well.. I have to accept it since I'm already considered the eldest in my class..

There won't be any pictures of me this time though.. As I've gained some weight and I look horrible in pictures.. Not a single pic that I took looks good.. No matter which angle I try.. Looks like its not only age that I've gained during these few months of absence.. Haha.. Hopefully I can somehow motivate myself to exercise more often..


To make things clear.. No~!! Those white sticky stuff around my Z are not cum stains.. XD

Had a wonderful morning and afternoon today.. Skipped classes for the 1st time this semester.. Guess what I did? Slept all the way~!! Haha.. It rained in the morning and made me so drowsy throughout the day.. I wonder if I could sleep at all tonight.. Woke up around 6.00p.m. and got a quick shower as I've had plans with Robb and my friends for dinner in Pizza Hut~!! Been quite some time since I've been there.. When I was back in Penang.. I used to go there almost once every week with my family.. Love those chicken wings~!!


My one and only..

Although it was only a small sort of party.. But I'm quite happy as those who came were people that I cared for.. It was more than enough.. Don't have to entertain so many "not important" people.. XD Well I never said I'm good with crowds~!! Back to the point.. Robb.. My loved one.. My hubby.. My life.. Was there with me.. Celebrating my birthday with me for the 2nd time~!! Justin and Yi Kang.. Both my so called brothers were there as well.. ^^ Other friends of mine that came were Christy, Christine, Kenson and "Tai Lou".. Hehe..


Greedy pig~!!


Leng zai ma?

Everyone ate till their tummy bloated~!! Kekeke.. And thanks to my dear dear for treating everyone.. ^^ I guess it was worth the money as everyone seemed satisfied.. One thing though.. I have yet to receive any presents this time.. Not that I'm materialistic.. But it would be nice to get something for my birthday.. Even if it were something tiny.. ^^


The whole gang.. Where's my bb?

Well to catch up a little with my absence for so many months.. Nothing much changed in my life.. Still happily living with my dearest Robb, Justin and Christy.. Justin is a wonderful person to have as a housemate~!! Where can you find someone who willingly sweep and mop the floor everyday~!! Thanks to him our house has been kept clean, presentable and livable~!! Lolz..

As for my college life.. Things seemed a little different when it comes to my classmates.. But then life's like that.. XD Now I'm in my 3rd semester.. Having to do Geography and Principles of Tourism.. Hopefully I did well in my previous semester as our results are yet to be out.. No thanks to my "efficient" college.. As for this semester.. It is a short sem as we only have 7 weeks of classes~!!

Supposed to go to Matta Fair last week to do our assignment.. But as our "efficient" lecturer left us with nothing but an assignment paper without explaining it to us.. We end up wandering around collecting brochures with no idea what might be usefull.. Darn.. Well at least the trip was worth it as there were lots of promotions to drool about and a wonderful dance performance some taiwan girls.. ^^ Even had a long chat with a beautiful malay girl at the Korea booth as well as a Korean professor.. She is teaching Hospitality Management at a college in Korea and was invited to Matta Fair for 3 days.. XD


What kinda experience? *Grinz*

Guess I will be updating my blog more often now.. Hopefully.. XD Won't be as interesting as Robb's though as I write for myself.. Not for others.. So those who wanna read.. Thanks~!! Those who find it boring.. Well.. Thanks for reading it in the 1st place as well.. Haha.. It's late.. Got to go.. Can't sleep yet though.. Maple Story~!! Chaoz..

~§hö©kWävê~

Liberi Fatali..

Liberi Fatali
(Nobuo Uematsu)



Fithos lusec wecos vinosec
Fithos lusec wecos vinosec
Fithos lusec wecos vinosec

Excitate vos e somno, liberi mei
Cunae sunt non
Excitate vos e somno, liberi fatali
Somnus est non

Surgite
Invenite
Veni hortum veritatis
Horti verna veritatis

Ardente veritate
Urite mala mundi
Ardente veritate
Incendite tenebras mundi

Valete, liberi
Diebus fatalibus

Fithos lusec wecos vinosec
Fithos lusec wecos vinosec
Fithos lusec wecos vinosec
Fithos lusec wecos vinosec

~§hö©kWävê~