Confused..

It hurts..
Why am I feeling this way..
Waking up to this emotion..
I need a road of my own..
I need to get away..


This feeling comes and goes..
As does my mood swings..
Why am I always doing things..
That my brain tells..
But my heart never follows..

Lonely,
~§hö©kWävê~

Dreams..

I don't know if it is coincidence or what but I just had a dream, few dreams actually, about important people in my life disappearing. In my first dream, I was out with Robb and Zuzu to some place which I can't really remember. It felt very nice to be spending time with both of them, until I got separated with Robb. I tried to find my way to him but somehow the paths were either blocked or heading to other directions. I felt so lost and worried at that time, having only Zuzu at my arms. I then put him down awhile just to look around the area, and when I wanted to pick him up again, he was gone as well.

I was crying, feeling very confused and sad, having no idea of what was happening. Suddenly, my dream took me back to a place which looks a little like my house. After that, I got a call from my housemate, Justin, who is also a good friend of mine. He called to say that he had already moved out and was never coming back. Tears were flowing down my eyes and I could hear him sobbing as well. I think I tried to ask him to stay but he said he had to move. We went silent for quite some time, hearing nothing but the sound of both our sobs. Then, I woke up from that dream, went to ask him if he was really moving out, and he said yes. =.=

Eventually, I woke up again to the sound of my handphone ringing, realizing it was another dream. Feeling blue, I answered the unknown number and a girl which sounded like she was from China started speaking to me real fast. I told her I did not understand Mandarin and hung up as I wasn't at a good mood, having all those depressing dreams. I looked around and was glad that everything is back to normal. Justin was just about to head out as well, leaving only me and Zuzu in the house as Robb was working already.

Am I having all these dreams because I'm feeling lonely? Robb is leaving to Singapore tomorrow with his colleagues and won't be back till Sunday. Justin will be going to study in his friend's house most of this week as he is having his exam, and will be heading to Johor this Sunday. Maybe those were the keys to unlocking such depressing dreams in me. I don't know, but I'm already missing Robb. I've been seeing him every single day for so many years, it's hard to be apart even for few days. But I'm glad I'm not alone, having Zuzu to be with me. We'll be waiting for your return, so, enjoy your trip ok? ^^

Love,
~§hö©kWävê~

愛不疚..

My new addiction..



~§hö©kWävê~

犬と私のじゅうの約束..

Ten Promises to My Dog..

Give me time to understand what you want of me.

Place your trust in me. It’s crucial to my well being.

Be aware that however you treat me I’ll never forget it.

Before you scold me for being lazy, ask yourself if something might be bothering me.

Talk to me sometimes. Even if I don’t understand your words, I do understand your voice when it’s speaking to me.

Remember before you hit me, I have teeth that could hurt you, but that I choose not to bite you.

Take care of me when I get old.

You have your work, your entertainment and your friends, I have only you.

My life is likely to last 10 to 15 years. Any separation from you will be painful for me.

Go with me on difficult journeys. Everything is easy for me if you are there. Remember I love you.

Those were the promises made by Akari to her dog, Socks. What promises will you make to yours? I cried a lot during the entire show as I could imagine how I'd feel in her shoes as I have a dog (Zuzu) as well. Socks was there with her throughout her ups and downs, as Zuzu has been for me throughout the entire year. He's not as obedient as Socks but he has his own charms and cuteness.


I could never imagine losing him ever. Zuzu don't leave us ok?

With love,
~§hö©kWävê~

Privacy..

Lying on my bed while trying to sleep, I suddenly thought of a reason why I felt that I couldn't write as smoothly as I used to. My blog was once only read by people that I didn't know, or people that weren't related to what I wrote, so I couldn't care less and threw in all my feelings. There wasn't any proper network to link bloggers together as well, since Nuffnang wasn't around during the time I started to blog.

Now that Nuffnang is here, it seems that everyone knows everyone. People start to blog hop more often to read up interesting stories or to promote their own site. Links being exchanged from one person to another, a circle of network connections seemed to be formed. My blog is not left out either, as people tend to drop by once awhile, mostly thanks to my dearest Robb as his blog is quite popular and read by many.

As time passes by, I got to know some of them as well, and as usual links were being exchanged and saved into each others' blog. As most of them know us (me and Robb), it somehow made me feel differently towards my so called online diary. It is no longer as personal as it was. Although I still blog about my personal life, there are still some things that I don't feel comfortable writing into my blog anymore.

As the blog community keeps on growing, it seems that blogs have less and less privacy, unless the owner cuts himself off from any relationship with other bloggers and remain anonymous. Either that, or just put a password to only allow certain people to view it and filter out the rest. But for a person to be blogging, there will surely be a part of him or her that wants someone to read what they wrote, so if it were password protected, it wouldn't do them any good.

People tend to change their style of writing as well, especially when they feel that they don't have enough traffic in their blog. I've seen a few, that changed from writing about their lives, to writing to entertain his/her readers. Did my style of writing changed as well? I wouldn't know. I just feel that it's no longer the same as it was before. Oh well, just feel like ranting as I've nothing to do and I can't sleep. Have to find something else to do now.

~§hö©kWävê~

Italiannies..

Robb took me to Italiannies last week as a friend of ours was invited over to try out their new dishes. I've always loved the pasta there so I was kinda glad that I get to eat for free too. Who wouldn't like free food anyway. I loved most of the dishes, not all as I'm not a fan of seafood. Robb loved the shrimps though. I'll just let the pictures do the work. :P


Quattro Platter - A combination of deep-fried risotto balls, calamari, stuffed mushrooms and zuchinni fritte, complete with marinara sauce and alfredo dressing for dipping. (Loved the risotto balls)


Californian Shrimp Salad - Seasoned grilled shrimp, mangoes, oranges, tomatoes and cream cheese with baby spinach and romaine lettuce, tossed with orange vinaigrette dressing. (Didn't touch much of this, seafood ><")


Italiannies Lamb Shank - Braised lamb shank with a medley of herbs, red peppers and tomatoes. Served with garlic mashed potatoes and brown sauce. (Very tender! Hot item of the night)


Sicilian Pizza - This inch-thick pizza is stuffed with anchovies, black olives, mozzarella cheese and topped with sauteed onions and Pomodoro sauce. (Didn't really like anchovies)


Clockwise - Salmon & Lemon Aioli, Fussili Pesto and Mushrooms (love this), Chicken Coronation, Chicken & Mushroom.


Clockwise - Fussili Pesto & Mushrooms, Chili Shrimp, Angel Hair Pomodoro, Clams & Beef Bacon.


NY Strawberry Cheesecake - New York-style cheesecake served on a bed of strawberry sauce. (Nice!!)


Italiannies Chocolate & Hazelnut Cake - Rich, moist chocolate cake with hazelnut. (Although I love chocolate cakes, I find it too thick with chocolate)

I didn't take pictures of some of the pasta served as I was already too busy eating them. Hehe. They also served Classic Carbonara, Shrimp Linguine, and Chicken Lasagna which I love a lot. At the end of the day, all of us were too stuffed and didn't manage to finish up some of the food and had to bring it home. Wouldn't be nice to waste such good food, especially if it was served free. Thanks Italiannies~!!

~§hö©kWävê~

Boo!!

Not being a typical blogger, I had less fun than the rest of the attendees during the Silent Halloween. Nevertheless, I'm glad that it turned out to be a great party as lots of other bloggers, maybe all of them, enjoyed what Robb had done throughout the entire night. People were snapping pictures here and there, exchanging blog links, participating in games, yada yada yada. As for me, I spent my time mostly around Justin and Leo. There were no alcohol, and the music wasn't really my type. The food was just ok as well.


Moving on, we went to watch Madagascar 2 last Tuesday. I can't really remember much on the first Madagascar as it was quite long ago but somehow I felt like it was better than the second part. The penguins were great as usual with all their tricks. After the movie, we went down to catch a cab but those taxi drivers were all money suckers. They wanted RM25 - RM 30 just to go back to Genting Klang which was not very far. We had the money, but didn't want to waste on such people so we sat a bus back to KL and switched to another taxi there. At the end of the day, we just spent RM 13 to reach home.


Justin has been pushing me to go to gym with him lately. The gym is just nearby our house, right above the cyber cafe that I usually visit with Robb. The equipments there are a lot better than the ones in TAR College, but of course not as good as the ones in Fitness First. If I had the money I would prefer to go to Fitness First with Robb. Oh well, at least the one I'm going to now is near. I'm really glad that Justin is pushing me to work out as I'm a very lazy person and my body is not exactly a sight for sore eyes. Hopefully I can see some changes in no time as I don't know how long till my laziness catch up with me.


A friend of mine from Penang would be in KL soon and I'd have the chance to catch up with him on all the things we missed. It would be nice as it has been some time since I've seen any of my high school friends. The last we met was during the last Chinese New Year. It has also been a long time since I have been back to Penang. I must admit that I kinda miss it a little but my life is now in KL with Robb and our son ZuZu. Speaking bout ZuZu, he has been very clingy to me as I have been spending lots of time with him at home. He follows me around the house and even waits for me outside the bathroom when I'm bathing.


He's so cute, I can never get enough of him. Don't you think he's cute? ^_^

~§hö©kWävê~

I'm Going Silent This Halloween With Nokia XpressMusic..

Robb has been asking me to write this for so many times as he wanted me to attend this event. I'm not exactly a people person, so I've been having second thoughts on going. After lots of persuasion, I finally gave in and decided to attend this Halloween party, that is if I'm selected. :P


One of the reasons why I had second thoughts of going is also due to having no suitable costume. Maybe I should just print out the picture above and stick it on my face. Hehe. Well now I have to think of what to wear. I wonder if anyone would go there just wearing normal clothes instead of spooky costumes.


It was written in Nuffnang's blog that we were asked to bring a headphone to the party. Having searched high and low, I managed to dig up one of my old headphones. It was kinda big and didn't work that well. One of the wires must be loose. Hmm.


Maybe I'll just close my ears with my hands like this and pretend that they were headphones. No one would notice right? I'll just say it's a newly developed, highly sophisticated model from Japan!


Well no matter what I'm wearing, or going with or without a headphone, I'll be silent for now. Let's just enjoy the party and see how things goes, that is if I'm selected. :P Cya~

~§hö©kWävê~

Sorry..

I'm beginning to get sick of that word. Why is everyone saying that to me? Am I that prone to people doing something wrong towards me thus them saying sorry? Or is it that they are all giving in to me even though I'm at the wrong instead of arguing with me? I don't know. I've been getting lots, and I mean LOTS of it, and it made the word "Sorry" not so meaningful anymore. I hate that word.

~§hö©kWävê~

Eating Alone..

I met Marcus for the 2nd time yesterday. As I was sick of eating instant noodles for lunch every single day, I sent him a text message and asked him out. Lucky for me he was free and came by to take me out for lunch. We went to the Jusco in Wangsa Maju as it was nearby our place and had our meal in Johnny's Steamboat.

In one of our conversations, we discussed about the issue of eating alone. He was asking me to reduce my instant noodles intake and go out to have my lunch as there were lots of hawker stalls right below the place which I'm staying. What he said was true, as there were lots of choices of food all around the area for me to choose from. But the problem for me was that I don't like to eat alone outside.

Whenever Robb or my housemates are not around and I'm feeling hungry, I would just make myself something to eat at home, which would most probably be instant noodles. I would then sit in front of my computer, chatting away in MSN or in my online game while having my meal. This way, I'm not actually eating by myself as I am accompanied by people through the internet.

During my entire 20 years of living in Penang, I hardly ever eat alone as well. It would either be with my friends or family, and I rather skip a meal if there wasn't anyone around. The only time I would eat alone is when I crave for something very much and didn't bother if there were people accompanying me or not. So far that never happened in KL. Maybe the food here ain't that addictive to me.

Hearing that, Marcus told me that he was quite the opposite from me. He LOVES eating alone, which is something that I would never say. Well, everyone is different. I enjoyed myself though, hanging out with him instead of facing my computer for the entire day. Let's go out more often when you're free. ^^

~§hö©kWävê~

Tick Tock..

Tick tock tick tock tick tock..
3am.. I'm still awake..





Tick tock tick tock tick tock..
4am.. I still can't sleep..





Tick tock tick tock tick tock..
5am.. Bah, I'll just wait till Robb wakes up..





Tick tock tick tock tick tock..
Nearly 6am.. I'm bored..





Night ghost,
~§hö©kWävê~

You Can Stand Under My Umbrella..

What do you like to do during rainy days? Stay at home, cuddle with your loved one under the blankets while having a hot cup of hot cocoa? Or go out and play under the rain like a small kid? XD Whatever it is, I just love rainy days. Why? Cuz I get to use it as an excuse to go eat steamboat!! Hehe.


There's this steamboat restaurant nearby my place called Home Town Steamboat which I love. It is not the buffet kinda steamboat and you only get what you ordered, which is the only bad side as I cannot eat as much as I want.


So far I've only tried the Tomyam soup as well as the plain soup. I've seen quite a number of people ordering their broth but I've never tried it cause Robb doesn't want to. Maybe I'll get someone else to go there with me someday.


As it was raining cats and dogs yesterday, I asked Robb and my housemate Justin to have dinner in that steamboat restaurant and they agreed as it was a cold day. We would usually bring ZuZu along but since it was raining, he had to be left at home. Sorry sonny boy.


The food was good as usual. Although there were lots of things that I don't eat, but there was still enough food for me to fill my big tummy until it was bloated. After we finish eating, the rain was still pouring. Being the greedy pig, I can't help buying the chicken wings which were sold right outside the restaurant, which is my favorite as well.


It definitely was a pleasurable night, for my tummy. Hehe. Looks like I've got to control my eating before I gain too much weight. But can't blame me, I tend to get hungry easily during cold weathers. Blame the rain. :P


~§hö©kWävê~

Busy Weekend..

There was a warehouse sales by L'Oreal last Saturday. For the first time after so many months, I was actually working. Although it was only as a part-timer for two days, it's better than nothing right? I was not alone though as Justin was there with me as well.


Anyway, there were lots of branded beauty products and fragrances on sale and the prices were unbelievable. The sale officially opens at 10.00am, but there were already people lining up to go in around 9.00am! We had to be there early and we were even provided with breakfast. They served Nasi Lemak, which was just ok for me, nothing too great but not too shabby as well.


After eating, we went to look for the person in charge and she told us what to do. I was to be in charge of the exit door and check every single person whether they have a receipt on their purchases or not. Not a very interesting job but it was very easy, just stand around for the day and earn RM100.


The people that came were unbelievable. Even after they let a big group of people in, there were still lots of them waiting outside. But that was until lunch time only, as the number of customers reduced over time. I had my lunch around 2.00pm, which was served by the hotel as well. This time, the food was better as it had one of my favorite food, lasagna!!


Nothing much to be said on the sales, except for the products sold were really very cheap. Girls would definitely shop till they drop. There were two aunties who were talking to each other when we checked for their receipts, and they were asking each other on how much they bought. One of them casually said something like,"Oh not that much, just RM4,000++. It's really cheap!". Me and another friend were looking at each other with an expression such as this (=_=).


I got to know quite a few people through this job, and there were some familiar faces there as well. I forgot to exchange numbers with them though. As for the customers, most of them are females, but there were some gays there as well. There were even some which I wasn't sure at first whether he/she is a male or female.


At the end of they day, Robb came to look for me and we had dinner with some of our friends. I got my salary before we left, and spent it immediately on my handphone charger as I needed a new one. Was pretty tired although I did nothing much. ZuZu was so happy when I reached home. He must had missed me a lot as I would usually be at home with him for the whole day. And yea, I miss him too. ^^


~§hö©kWävê~

My Favourite Computer Game.. For Now..

I've been playing Perfect World for quite some time. It is a MMORPG, set in the world where three major tribes, Human, Winged Elves, and Werebeasts coexist. It is a world of magic and fantasy featuring the Chinese creation myth as its backdrop and leveraging on a rich and diverse oriental setting.



Perfect World centers on flight, and has many floating structures and areas. The game shifts from night to day and sunny to rainy season on a regular cycle, changing the view of each area with time for realism.



It is definitely a fun game to play as the graphics are simply magnificent. I've got to know quite a number of friends as well from all around the world, from Australia to Poland, and even Canada! Most of the players are from Malaysia though.



Since I've been playing for quite awhile, I've got a group of friends who I play with together. From hunting weapons and killing bosses, we stick with each other as we each have at least one character from each of the three races.



Cut things short, I've been playing this game so much that Robb feels that I'm addicted to it and has been spending too much time in it. Maybe I am. Everday when I wake up, I go to my PC and log into the game. When Robb comes back, I'm still in the game. Maybe I should reduce staring at my computer for so long.



Well whatever it is, I still love playing Perfect World. In there, I can fly, swim, run, sit on riding pets, and do anything that I'm not able to do in the real world. How nice if I really have those crystal wings to fly in real life.


~§hö©kWävê~

For Robb..

Dear, I'm not sure if I've posted this song before or not. I just want you to know that no matter what changes in life that you're going through or whatever hardship that falls on you, I'll be there for you.


You're my love, my life, my everything! Don't ever feel that you're alone, I'm facing everything with you.


ZuZu will always love us as well, as much as we love him. The three of us will always be together. So be strong for yourself, for me, for ZuZu, for us. :)



With love,
~§hö©kWävê~